Thought: I don’t much care for what I am but I am excited about what I could become.
The western world is awash with shame and guilt. Maybe it’s the legacy of just a few influential teachers who dominated the growth of ethical philosophy in the Middle East at various times long ago. Maybe it reflects an inescapable part of all human nature.
However it is undeniably true that addiction leads us to all sorts of behaviour which we later regret, and rightly.
You can’t change the past and it’s essential to escape from denial about the present. That message is clear in the 12 Steps.
The past affects the future but it need not define it. Change is a as powerful a force as consequence.
Addiction to alcohol, drugs or any other substance or process makes it hard to remember the good times but there have been good times. If you make the effort, you can look back to good days and good deeds and they prove the potential within you and around you for good in your future.
If your vision of who you are depresses you then that vision is incomplete. You may be right to be ashamed of things you have done and fearful for the on-going consequences but you would be wrong to ignore the potential for doing good and being happy in the future.
The 12 Steps present a process for dealing with the past, for setting it in perspective and laying to rest at least some of its ghosts. But the dark regrets about the past need to be balance, even outweighed by bright hope for the future.
If you are not already excited about what you can become, ask your friends and family and your mentors and guides to help you focus on the future and to be positive about its potential.