A Heroin and Alcohol Addict in Recovery

I have had an alcohol problem for sixteen years total; for seven years it was a very big problem. I started taking drugs at fifteen. I liked doing it very much – I got in with the wrong crowd. My family life was happy. My drug of choice was heroin but I used excessive amounts of alcohol as well. Stealing became a habit. I was good at it. It funded my habit. When I was arrested that freaked me out. The arrest referral team was supportive. Four months later I went into treatment. I relapsed for eighteen months. My partner helped bring me to recovery. This phone treatment has been really helpful. I am back in recovery and it is two years now! The therapy has given me a foundation for recovery.
Alcoholics in recovery understand problems, which is very reassuring. I really wanted to look at some of the issues of the Twelve Steps in depth including more reading and more in depth discussion. I was really hungry for this information and support. My coach is a recovering alcoholic too. I got a greater understanding of the steps from the DVDs and they worked very well with the Big Book. It is so important not to forget. They gave me an insight into each step. The questions were thought provoking. Some of the questions could make me think solidly for over an hour. I needed to answer the questions for me. It made me have a good long look at myself. It is a constant struggle to answer honestly all the questions. I managed the homework ok but it was ongoing and required self-discipline.
I rang at around midnight on two or three occasions. Anger is an important emotion and feeling for me. I am spending a lot of time discussing this issue with my coach. Trust and identification is important. I need constant support but I need to find this with other addicts and alcoholics. Life gets in the way sometimes but you just have to do your best. The trust issue is a big thing. To open up to someone takes a little time.
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